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Thursday, September 30, 2010

Rising Action?

Emotions are somewhat controllable, I understand.
Today was the first day I felt the fleeting emotion of happiness without the aid of others in a while.
Probably the first time since two weekends ago.
I pray it lasts.
Studying the muscular system of humans outside without sunscreen is a bad idea.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Time and Attention

Attention, please. Attention, please. I want only your undivided attention please.
Do not tell me things to make me feel better if they are not true.
Do not give me half of you when you tell me you love me.
Understand I want the best for you.
Understand I am selfish when I miss you.
What I value more than silver, pearls, money and recognition is your time.
Your sweet words are nothing to me without you behind them, so why hide behind them?
Your time is what I desire.
Your attention is what I desire.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Book Frame

Ok, so I was supposed to work on projects today; but I've had this project in mind since I heard about it.
Above is the book cover...
And this is the back that I made into a picture frame. (Used my Cutco Super shears to cut the hole in the hardcover and the fabric.) :)

Sunday, September 19, 2010


I absolutely love my new TOMS! They're so pretty! And a little kid has shoes because of me :) (This picture was obviously difficult to take--hence, the face.)

Wednesday, September 15, 2010


Monday while I was driving back home with Lyd and Ryan, Lydia asked me if I was happy with who I am now. I told her yes.
Now I'm not so sure.
It is little things that remind me of the characteristics with which I would not describe myself, yet others may because they are so...standoffish? There is a woman next to me in the bell choir who refuses or perhaps just simply chooses not to count while she plays. She is always late and continuously gets lost. So I count out loud for her. She then plays when she is supposed to. But I know she is irked by me and I wish she would not be because I just want the bell choir to sound great. Sometimes I think, Mr. Matheny should just switch us for that song because she plays more than I do, but I can actually play when my notes come along at the right time. Arrogance is probably what she thinks of me.
Lydia and I used to be so very alike until I went to Stetson and forced myself to socialize the socially accepted way: by putting myself out there confidently. Often I find myself putting her down because she is so shy and does not stick up for herself 100% of the time; and she takes on too much responsibility for her own good in that she could burn out quickly physically or emotionally--but it isn't necessarily the loving way to help her become more outgoing. I wish I did not behave unlovingly.
My dad has pointed out on several occasions that I defend myself excessively. To justify my actions, I feel that no one takes me seriously anymore: I'm a vegetarian; I sell Cutco--two horrid contradictions to our warm, traditional American community.
Honestly, I am not proud of who I am because I offend so many people. Upsetting people is not a life goal of mine. Yet, I'm living my life currently like it is. Is there a graceful way to be Kathryn Gower?
I wonder who I am becoming.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Felt Future

Made my first creation. Well, I really stole the idea from another blog that I follow (paper-and-string...)

Friday, September 10, 2010


Today started out crappy; and really it was an extension of the sentiments following my appointment with the Haney's last night. I go over to show the Cutco and they tell me how Megan is supposed to graduate early and she wants to do mission work in the Dominican and then get her Master's degree right away. Oh yeah, and she hasn't had a real job ever because her parent's have always taken care of her finances. And they are taking her to Night of Joy at Disney this weekend. (And they only bought one knife.) Here I am, the Salutitorian transferred to USF and working 2 part-time jobs to make enough to save to finally get a car at the ripe-old age of 20. I'm going to finally get my undergrad in 5 years and I'm living at my parents' house. I started to cry when I was explaining that to Dad. I guess he felt bad and tried to make those problems seem insignificant by saying, "At least you have parents..." and proceeded to tell me about a story he heard from the Palmers last night at small group. Didn't help much at all. But I tried to change the subject so I wouldn't sob and we could possibly think about up-lifting things.
Today didn't start with such high spirits. But, Minnie comes by this afternoon asking me if I want to go out the Indian buffet to try out stuff. I say sure and Shradeh come along too. We had a really good time and I learned so much about the culture and how interesting it is. I love my Indian friends. They're so kind.
Finished CITI training. Gave them a piece of my mind in their survey at the end of the training. Retarded and waste of my time.
I'm eager for next week to arrive. I want to go back to Stetson and spend time with Keri and Chris. I miss them both terribly. And Caroline.