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Thursday, November 18, 2010


This may be an ironic question: what is with ex's and picking post-relationship fights?
The irony may lie in my disgust in Warren thinking I was trying to condescendingly contradict him--picking a fight similar to the "Tardis" episode (*rolls eyes*), when I may have been the one picking the fight.
There are unresolved issues from my past relationship.
True, I really wanted to say in an irate, belittling tone of voice,"No, you prick, you don't love everyone. If you did, you wouldn't act like some people don't exist or like everything is fine between you and that said person; and what's more: you can't even read passive aggressiveness."
Ok, so maybe his "picking a fight" was reading my passive aggressive posts before I even identified my true intent behind it. Nevertheless, my anger resides in the fact that he does nothing.
There is a game that girls often play with boys and it goes by the name of "I know something you don't know." It is a clever game that usually incites curiosity of the male human species; however, it is incredibly unsatisfying for the female who cannot even get the idiot to guess the hidden knowledge. Perhaps this version of the game is unique in that the female takes some delight in confusing the male, exploiting his lack of intelligence. Yet, baited trap can sit untouched for only so long; and content in evil cannot prevail in a tender heart. Thus, chronic emotional distress ensues when the female is merely reminded of the hidden knowledge.
The issue is that I retain my passive aggressive nature towards him. Herein lies my immaturity and this shred I am not surrendering until the enemy camps attempts to explore the reason for its existance.
Why are ex-boyfriends ignorant, idiotic and unfortunately not inane?
I am a fool to say I do not hate Warren. I resent him greatly; and I resolve today to be irrational by the thought of him.
Tomorrow this may change, but it is unlikely.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010


Though I should be continuing my depressed blogs I am not. I should be over-whelmed with how much has to get done before this semester ends (and the end looms) but I suppose I'm more excited about other things.
Like flying out to Austin this weekend. We'll find out by the end of this weekend if it was a good idea.
I'm nervous about seeing my sister's ex-husband--its not that he did anything did to me. I'll try and treat him normal. I just cannot believe some of the atrocities he committed against my sister while they were married.
How could anyone who claims to love someone be so unfaithful, thoughtless and abusive?
I could go on forever. One of my greatest fears is an unsuccessful marriage.
Elicia's crashed and burned. Who is to say if she should have stayed longer to pick up her husband's sorry ass and rehabilitated him or left earlier or even married him at all? What is done is done.
I just don't want mine to be anything like that and I want a marriage significantly better than my parent's past and current relationship.
Perhaps it feels I'm going through the motions of life with no true direction, but alas, I'm surviving and currently am happier than lately.
I'll run with it.